Grief Thoughts

Stressful events, such as experiencing a trauma or losing a loved one can take up a lot of space in our minds. Inspired from Gretchen Miller’s “Trauma Thoughts” activity, here is an art activity to help clients show how the stressful event(s) affects their mind. In relation to my work, I will be focusing on “Grief Thoughts”. This activity would be great for groups or individual counseling.

Give clients a blank outline of a brain like the one pictured here, or have them draw their own head/brain. Have the clients draw, write, or collage the different ways that grief is taking space in their mind. It can be memories, emotions, physical symptoms, etc. Try using this time as a way to discuss how it can feel like their lives are being taken over, and how people experience similarities, as well as differences in the way they react. You can also brainstorm healthy coping strategies. To go a step further, maybe use the space around the brain to collage, draw, or write healthy coping strategies, positive thoughts, things they would like to take up space in their mind, etc.

Trauma Masks

People experiencing trauma tend to feel one way on the inside, but display a totally different person on the outside. Trauma Masks are a great way for trauma survivors to illustrate that.

Give your client a blank mask outline. On the front side of the mask, have them illustrate how they feel others see them. On the back side of the mask, have them illustrate how they view themselves/how they feel inside. You can imagine the striking differences you’ll see!

Explore the differences on the masks together and discuss the meaning of any pictures or words they used. Try asking about the feelings they have when they look at the masks. You may get a lot more insight into the person than you ever would have expected!

 Picture from here.

Survivor's Strength

Many of my clients tell me they feel weak. They feel like a failure. They feel broken; like damaged goods. I am incredibly sincere when I tell them that survivors are some of the STRONGEST people I know. Survivors have gone through some of the most terrible, unimaginable violations to their souls and bodies, yet they get up in the morning and try to put the pieces back together. I tell them that the fact that they are coming into my office, willing to discuss the horrors they've been through, show incredibly strength and resilience. There is life after trauma!

Emotions Worksheet

When working with survivors of sexual or domestic violence, especially teenagers, they can be very slow to open up. Many survivors are understandably weary about trusting people. When working with survivors of sexual violence, many of them will say they do not like to think about or talk about what has happened to them. This leaves many counselors wondering how they can approach the subject.

I tell all my clients that they do not have to tell me any details they don’t feel comfortable. It’s not about process the event(s), it’s about processing their feelings around what happened. As soon as I say this, many of my clients begin to visibly relax.

So how can you get the conversation about their feelings started? I use this worksheet that lists many different feelings, and have them circle which ones apply to them. I then discuss each emotion they have circled and how it is affecting their life. This has been especially useful with teenagers!

Focus Card

My client was sexually abused for several years and used dissociation as a coping mechanism. For the past couple has been going into more detail about the sexual abuse she experienced, and as a result she found that she’s been more spacey. I had her make a Focus Card to help ground her and this is the beautiful piece she created! I got the idea for it here. A Focus Card is defined as:

"A Focus Card has an image on it that helps you right now focus and be present. It is as simple as that; finding an image that emerges from being still and being inwardly focused that gives you visually what you need to feel centered, calm and present in your life. It takes strength to build resilience, inner peace and stillness in a world that is full of chaos and madness. This small card is a glimpse of stillness, a small oasis that can remind you that sanity is not far away. This calmness can carry you through the rest of the day and you can refer back to the image when you need to re-focus. It helps us to remember that not all of our life has to be calm, or in order. But small pockets of it can be, just like this small focus image. Starting small—and not expecting or trying to make all of your life manageable all of the time—is a sane way to live your life. There can be little spaces of calmness and sanity in the middle of the busyness of a day. Look for these spaces in your workday and home life."