Using Poetry

As I’ve stated before, I love poetry therapy. “Broken” by Becky Birtha, a survivor of sexual abuse, is a poem I like to use with sexual violence survivors, especially of childhood sexual abuse.

When discussing a poem with client, I first ask them their feelings about the poem and whether they enjoyed it or not. If they did, I ask them to explain to me how they feel the poem is relevant to their life or their situation. We examine the lines that really stick out to them and why they are easy to relate to.

Poems and song lyrics (especially for teenagers) can be such a powerful counseling tool. Being able to see your thoughts, situation, feelings, etc. put on paper by someone else makes you feel less alone. And sometimes it’s comforting for people to see their thoughts explained in a way that they weren’t able to.

Emotions Worksheet

When working with survivors of sexual or domestic violence, especially teenagers, they can be very slow to open up. Many survivors are understandably weary about trusting people. When working with survivors of sexual violence, many of them will say they do not like to think about or talk about what has happened to them. This leaves many counselors wondering how they can approach the subject.

I tell all my clients that they do not have to tell me any details they don’t feel comfortable. It’s not about process the event(s), it’s about processing their feelings around what happened. As soon as I say this, many of my clients begin to visibly relax.

So how can you get the conversation about their feelings started? I use this worksheet that lists many different feelings, and have them circle which ones apply to them. I then discuss each emotion they have circled and how it is affecting their life. This has been especially useful with teenagers!

Focus Card

My client was sexually abused for several years and used dissociation as a coping mechanism. For the past couple has been going into more detail about the sexual abuse she experienced, and as a result she found that she’s been more spacey. I had her make a Focus Card to help ground her and this is the beautiful piece she created! I got the idea for it here. A Focus Card is defined as:

"A Focus Card has an image on it that helps you right now focus and be present. It is as simple as that; finding an image that emerges from being still and being inwardly focused that gives you visually what you need to feel centered, calm and present in your life. It takes strength to build resilience, inner peace and stillness in a world that is full of chaos and madness. This small card is a glimpse of stillness, a small oasis that can remind you that sanity is not far away. This calmness can carry you through the rest of the day and you can refer back to the image when you need to re-focus. It helps us to remember that not all of our life has to be calm, or in order. But small pockets of it can be, just like this small focus image. Starting small—and not expecting or trying to make all of your life manageable all of the time—is a sane way to live your life. There can be little spaces of calmness and sanity in the middle of the busyness of a day. Look for these spaces in your workday and home life."